#but people don’t like mondays either ig

[thelov3lybookworm]

Weeping Heart (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: panic attacks and tears

•○●⛦●○•

Warnings: the beginnings of a panic attack, cardan being sad and frustrated, though i dont go into details. yn running away again, ig. (the next part will include her getting comforted, dw <3 )

Word Count: 1107

A/n: shes a lil late but shes hereee yayyy 🥳

Imp: the next parts will be either posted on friday or next monday, depending on how quick i write. it will be a double update, so everyone whos on team herb can read the herb x reader part and ones on team cardan can read the cardan x reader part. i will add those links to this part when they are uploaded, so if you choose yes, you read the herb part. if you choose no, you read the cardan part.

anyways, enjoy🥹❣️

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n did not mind mornings. She had come across quite a few humans who insisted mornings were the worst time of the day, about how they preferred night.

Most faeries would agree, considering they slept during the day and worked at night. But Y/n, she loved mornings. She could get some peace to herself, some quiet that seemed to betray her when her soldiers, male and female alike, were awake. It was just quiet chatter, but it still got on her nerves sometimes.

Y/n always got herself up a few hours before sunset to have some time to herself, to practise her fighting skills, to think.

Y/n also knew Cardan liked to sleep. Most of the time, he had no option but to sleep off his hangovers after drinking the whole night, but even when that wasn't the case, he would never wake up while the sun was still out without a reason.

So when Y/n snuck out of Herb’s tent in the afternoon, the sun beating down on her as she went, it was a huge surprise to Y/n to find Cardan sitting on her bed, wide awake.

She paused at the threshold of her tent, the flap fluttering shut behind her as she processed the sight. "Cardan? You’re up early."

He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "Yeah. I’ve been up for some time now." He paused, glancing down at Y/n’s boots. It was a thing he used to do, when he was feeling vulnerable but did not want her to see. "Waiting… for you."

Y/n’s blood slowed in her veins before rushing again, and she sighed, stepping forward and making her way towards the chair in the corner.  "I was sleeping, Cardan."

"Where?" His response was quick, sharp, as if he had been thinking of it since he woke up. It made Y/n freeze in her tracks, her eyes growing slightly wide.

"Uh… in a soldier’s tent?"

He stood. "Why?"

Y/n blinked. "What do you mean why? My bed was occupied, so-"

"So now you can’t even stand my presence?" He laughed.

Y/n stared at him, at a loss for words. She looked at him closely, noting the gauntness in his pale cheeks, he shadows under his eyes.

Sure, he had all those before, but the hollows seemed deeper, the shadows darker. "I never said that, Cardan. And I would never be intolerable to your presence."

He scoffed. "Right, that’s why you’ve been running away and avoiding returning to Insmire for so long."

Y/n sighed, rubbing her face. "It’s nothing against you, Cardan-"

"Then why have you been avoiding me since I arrived?! I’ve been trying to talk to you, I’ve tried so many times! Why are you running away from me?!" He snapped, his voice rising.

And Y/n froze completely.

Cardan never yelled. That was something Y/n had grown up with. No matter what, Cardan never yelled. He would drink, he would party, he would revel, hell, he’d bed people just to forget his frustrations. But he never yelled.

And never at Y/n.

It broke her will to care.

"Because if I don’t, I might just kill myself!"

He stilled, his eyes wild as he stared back at her, his chest heaving. Y/n stepped forward, closer and closer to him. His gaze tracked her movements, almost predatory.

"Do you know, Cardan, how much pain I have been in everyday since I realised that you would never look at me like I look at you?" He said nothing, his eyes wide. "Everyday, I’d put on a smile, act like I have not been in love with you since I understood what love was, and watched as you did all that you did, as you revelled and ruined your own reputation, as you acted like you loved all those females you bedded."

Y/n finally stopped a foot from him, jabbing her finger into his chest, fury blazing in her heart. "I was there as you watched your mother ignore you, I was there to comfort you, I was there as you shattered every time after her rejection. I was there when you wanted Jude, I was right there helping you out with her. I listened to every detail you provided of your love life, trying to hold myself together, and you just couldn’t see it."

Y/n shook her head, smiling. "You could never see it, you were too busy making eyes at others to notice me. And yes, if you’re going to ask me if running away was necessary, yes it was. Because I could no longer bear to watch you be in love with Jude while I stared at you like a lovesick puppy. It was eating me alive from the inside. And I couldn’t tell you about it either, because I saw how in love with Jude you were, and I never wanted to get in the way of your happiness. You know why? Because I care about you, Cardan. I care about you."

He stared at Y/n, looking like he was about to cry as she panted, her blood chilling as she realised what she had just done.

"Y/n, I-"

Y/n stumbled back, her heart beating in her throat.

The beating slowed.

Her hearing diminished.

Or maybe the birds stopped chirping. She didn’t know.

She didn’t care.

This was a panic attack, she was sure of it.

This was the first one she was having in years. The last time was when Y/n had realised she loved Cardan and had almost blurted it out at him, but stopped just before he could hear it, and then he had left with a pretty nymph on his arm.

Even back then, he had not paid any attention to her as he led the female away, already beginning to kiss her before they were even out of sight.

And she had made it a mission that she never had any other panic attacks ever again. And if she did, she’d not create a scene, especially not in front of Cardan.

So she took another step back, her heartbeat thudding in her ears, slow, unsteady, and then turned and sprinted out of her tent, her only focus her horse, Toad.

And the moment the horse was in her arms reach, she swung herself onto the mare’s back and rode away, tears beginning to gather in her eyes.

She heard him calling after her.

Maybe Herb would keep Cardan away. Keep him from following her.

But did she want him to?

No.

Yes.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

permanent taglist: @berryzxx @serenescureforboredom @cassie6392 @harrystylesfan2686

Cruel Prince Taglist: @dahliawarner @yucanbmylxdy @lilachaelnut @sheisntyou @kitkatlover015

Cardan Greenbriar Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter

@123345566 @mp-littlebit @tele86 @fauxraven

@fuzzycupcakebeliever @bay7let @yourmomsushi @evanthelibra @dnfhascorruptedme

Taglist: @dreamsarenicer @kennedy-brooke @123345566 @batboygirlie

@btrxbllck @love-bookprincess @kitsunetori @northstar-legolas3

@evanthelibra @lxsis @nana7nana777 @blueberrygeniejam

@selenescribes @jasmineee05 @biscuit-sa @hat3yo0

[leyezzeyee]

so we have taub tuesday, wilson wednesday and foreman friday. can we get a thirteen thursday?

idk what to do for monday, saturday or sunday 😭

[jenna0rtega27]

hi! I found you just a few days ago and i love your stories, love the way you write.. you're my comfort writer, really!

I kind of have an idea for a story and, if you can and want, i'd like you to write it.

So.

It's a fem!reader x jenna

R is an actress, jenna's coworker.

During a IG live, someone in the comments insults Jenna and Reader is sooo pissed off about it and she answers to the comment defending her with so much passion and "fire" that she ends up accidentaly confessing she's in love with the girl.

The video goes viral and R is ashamed and embarassed, she starts avoiding her castmates, especially Jenna, 'cause she's afraid to be rejected by the girl.

Bye!

Live IG

Masterlist

Thank you for asking Jenna x F!Reader Summary: RequestWarnings: Maybe some drama but nothing alarming Thank you for your comment and your request. It means a lot to me to be your comfort writer. And that’s exactly why I write. I want to make people happy. And if it’s writing that can make people happy then I’m fulfilled. I love you all and thank you very much for all your support, it really warms my heart. Continue to send me your requests, I love reading you so much. Number of words: 1963

" Are you ready? »

" Yes I am ready. » You and Jenna are getting ready to do an Instagram live. Jenna is your work colleague but also your best friend. But the little brunette is also your biggest crush. But you never dared to talk to him about it for fear of ruining your friendship and that would be your biggest loss.

In short, like every Monday, you and your best friend do an Instagram live to be able to interact with your fans.

Jenna starts the live and you watch the first people to arrive.

"Hello everyone. » You have always loved with your fans. Without them you would not be where you are today.

Jenna sits next to you on the couch and your thighs touch. You try not to panic and blush at the proximity. Jenna's phone is hung on a tripod so she doesn't have to hold the phone.

“Ask us questions and we will try to answer them. »

Jen_Y/n: are you in a relationship?

“No, we’re just best friends. » Jenna replies with a big smile and taking your arm in hers.

“Yeah, we’re just best friends. » You try very hard not to show that you are hurt by Jenna's response. Even if you're not together, it hurts when your crush says you're just friends.

You've been live for 30 minutes now and there are over a million people watching you. You are always so intimidated every time there are so many people on the live show. Because you know that right now, lots of fans and even non-fans are recording you either to post it on their fan account, or to use it against you later.

As you read the comments, your jaw is picking at someone saying a lot of crap about Jenna.

User5647392948465: Jenna is so ugly. Plus it's too small. Y/n I don’t understand how you manage to be with this shit.

User5647392948465: Plus Jenna is so bad. She is literally the worst actress I have ever seen play. Take it off the set and send it somewhere else so that we never see it again and can never talk about it again.

You turn your head and see Jenna looking at the comment and you swear you saw a tear in your best friend's eye. Seeing his sad crush made you angry that you weren't able to remember what you were going to say next.

“Listen User thing, Jenna is the best actress I know. And she's not just the best actress, she's also the brightest, smartest, mentally strong and kindest I know. And she is the most beautiful woman on this Earth. And you know what, we're always going to talk about her. I will always talk about her because I am madly in love with this magnificent woman. »

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. But soon you realize what you just said and your eyes widen. Your cheeks redden with shame. You couldn't think of what you had just said. You have just admitted that you are in love with Jenna in front of millions of people but especially in front of the person who concerns her.

“I think we’re going to go.” It's starting to get late. Goodbye everyone and thank you for being there. We'll see you again soon for another live. Bye. » Jenna thanks and cuts the Instagram live. You remain frozen. You don't want to look at Jenna. You are sure she is angry with you. You just screwed up your relationship. She will never want to see you again.

“Y/n…”

" I have to go. » You get up without saying goodbye to Jenna and leave your best friend's house. Or ex best friend?

You run to your car and once inside you collapse. “But what a fucking cunt I am!” » You scream and hit the steering wheel, letting hot tears flow down your cheeks. You put your forehead on the steering wheel and scream.

“I’m just a big fucking bitch!” FUCK!!! » You continue to hit the steering wheel and you are sure that the next day your hands were going to have bruises from how hard you hit.

After 5 minutes, you notice that you are still in Jenna's driveway. You wipe your eyes and quickly leave for home. After 20 minutes of traffic, you arrive home. When you get home, you immediately head to your bed. You don't force yourself to change or eat. You go to your bed and continue crying until you fall asleep from exhaustion.

It's now been 3 days since the big reveal and your phone hasn't stopped ringing. Videos have been posted of you saying your declaration of love. You are so ashamed of yourself. Jenna sent you lots of messages and calls but you didn't respond to any of them. Even your friends sent you messages to see if you were ok. You make yourself sick thinking that Jenna will never forgive you. And you especially think that she is calling you to break up your friendship.

5 days now and you are still locked in your house. You still don't talk to anyone. You hardly eat anymore. All you do is watch TV and cry yourself to sleep. Every day you think of the little brunette who you miss so much.

Today it is raining heavily. The sky is gray, there is lightning and thunder. A bit like your feelings. It's 5 p.m. and you're listening to season 3 of Outer Banks while trying to forget about Jenna. But your mind is still focused on the little brunette.

After 15 minutes of the 1st episode, you hear someone knocking on the door. You huff in anger. All you want is to be quiet and cry for the rest of your life. So you let it go. The person will perhaps leave thinking that there is no one there.

But other blows are heard and louder than the first time.

“It’s okay, I’m coming! When someone doesn't respond, it's because they're either not there or they don't want to respond to you. » You say, getting up from the couch and going to open the door to yell at the person who is bothering you in your moment of sorrow.

But when you open it, you open your eyes wide, not expecting at all from the person right in front of you.

“Jenna?” » The little brunette was completely soaked. Her hair was stuck to her beautiful face and it was stained with her running mascara.

Without answering, Jenna pushed you and walked inside. You are surprised by her behavior and why she is here at your house. Jenna looked furious. And you hope it’s not because of your statement you made on your last Instagram live.

“Why didn’t you ever call me back when I texted you or called you?!” I was worried to death! » Jenna practically shouts at you.

“You know very well Jenna why I didn’t talk to you. » You say, looking at the ground and playing with the ring on your thumb.

“Well you should have called me back or at least sent me a message to let me know you wanted it!” Even your friends you didn't talk to them! »

“To tell you what Jenna?!” I'm sorry for ruining our friendship?! Sorry for developing feelings for you?! » Your anger was growing. You don't want to take it out on Jenna but you've been keeping your anger buried so much that you have to explode in front of Jenna.

“Our friendship has never ruined Y/n. » Jenna said more slowly as she slowly approached you. You look at her as tears flow freely down your cheeks.

“Jenna, I humiliated myself in front of everyone. And because of me, everyone is sending you the live video. » You respond sadly.

“Y/n I don’t care about this video. All I want is for you to be okay after this. When I called you and you didn't answer, or you didn't respond to my messages, I thought you were never going to talk to me again. I was so scared. » Said Jenna as she too had tears running down her cheeks.

You frown in confusion.

“Jenna, you should be the one pushing me away, not the other way around. It was me who humiliated you in front of over a million people. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. I should be the one to blame. I ruined our relationship. » Your last sentence is weakened by tears and the fear of losing Jenna.

“Y/n can I tell you something?” » You nod your head to continue. “I remember the first time we saw each other was on the set of X. The first time I saw you, I wondered who this beautiful, magnificent woman was. This woman with beautiful y/h/c to y/e/c. You looked so beautiful in this costume that made you look so sexy. » You feel your cheeks redden at Jenna's words. “I told myself that I have to go talk to him, otherwise I would blame myself for the rest of my life. And you know what? It was the best idea of ​​my life. Because I met a strong, intelligent, courageous and so kind woman. But above all very sexy. » You both laugh at the last comment. “And after filming X, we became best friends. But I was missing something. For a long time I wondered who I was missing. »

“And what was that? »

“It was you Y/n. Every time I saw you, butterflies flew in my stomach. Every time you smiled, laughed or spoke, I loved you more every day. But at first I didn't want to admit it to myself because I thought you were straight. But when I saw you defending me the other day, I knew in that moment what my feelings for you were. » Jenna steps forward and cups your cheeks in her hands. “I’ve been in love with you Y/n for so long. »

You don't believe your ears. Your crush for years confesses his feelings to you. You wanted to pinch yourself to see if you would wake up. But Jenna's thumbs gently caressing your cheeks brings you back to reality.

“I love you so much Jenna. You can't believe how much I love you. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. » You place your hands on his hips and rest his forehead against his. Jenna runs one hand through your hair and the other on the back of your neck and scratches your skin with her nails.

" Can I kiss you? » Jenna asks you looking into your eyes and doing the triangle technique. You do the same and accept immediately. Jenna leans towards you but you step back. The brunette looks at you confused but you place your lips on hers. You wanted to kiss him first.

The kiss is soft and slow. There is no language just pure love. Jenna's lips are exactly what you imagined. They are sweet, pulpy, they taste like cherries.

You continue kissing before pulling away for lack of air. Your forehead is pressed against Jenna's and you look at her lovingly. She looks at you the same way.

“Jenna would you like to be my girlfriend?” » You ask with a smile on your face seeing her smile after your question.

“Yes Y/n, I want to be your girlfriend. » You both smile madly before launching into a kiss that's a little more intense than the first.

For now, your life is filled with happiness.

Thank you and fuck you User5647392948465.

[starrykitty013]

Hi! if you have the time, can you give us some good old fashioned Levi, Strange, Wong and Peter scraps? tysm! hope you're having a good day <33

Sorry for the late reply, break has been kinda hectic.

I am having a pretty good day, I start classes tomorrow (well technically they started today but I don’t have class on Monday this semester which is kinda epic) so I wanted to get my ask box cleared.

Also idk if you meant Loki instead of Levi, if it wasn’t a mistype I’m sorry, but either way this little blurb is more between doctor strange and Peter with a little Wong and Loki.

It takes place after No Way Home and Multiverse of Madness, so yea, idk this is unedited so I’m sorry for any typos but honestly I kinda had fun writing this, I’m surprised I could come up with a Drabble concept without a prompt but ig I felt inspired.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Here is the Drabble.

Enjoy!

___________________________________________

“Okay, I know how this looks but you have to hear me out before you get mad.”

“I’m very tempted not to listen.” Doctor Strange said, looking completely bemused at the decievingly small child in the red onsie that was holding up a clearly drunk slim demigod that had showed up to his doorstep. He had half a mind to slam the door, but honestly, he was kind of curious and it was a slow day at the sanctum anyway. Spiderman always happened to bring a tad bit of fun wherever he went, but he also tended to bring trouble too - despite the kid having the inability to ask for help unless it was offered, don’t get Strange wrong, Spiderman worked well with others but it wasn’t his default mode; he always had to be prompted into doing so , but then again so did the rest of the hero community. Looks like he decided to cut out the middle man and go straight to the trouble

“Come on, isn’t like part of your code to give people shelter or something.” The kid tried to convince.

“That’s nuns.” He said blandly.

“Really?” the kid Asked innocently Stephan actually wasn’t quite sure about that, he wasn’t very religious.

“Wong won’t be pleased.” Cause inviting the god of mischief \, who already had a spotty track record of steal powerful artifacts, into a sanctum full of forbidden and protected magic did not sound like a good idea on any day, but if said god was drunk. Yeah, Wong would be mad.

But it might be fun.

“How did you even find him like this?” Spiderman tended to find himself in a lot of strange situations, none of which had any sort of protocol. Then again, Spiderman wasn’t really known for following any sort of rules given to him. A trait that had Stephan a little envious at sometimes, because despite his rigid discipline that is required to learn and maintain the mystic arts, Spiderman is still somehow more morally stable in most regards while having virtually no discipline.

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. I just found him outside the old Stark tower like this when I went to investigate a like minor explosion? Which, isn’t crazy that we’ve gotten so used to people falling out of the sky as a society, that no one even mentions it. Like-“ Stephan held up a hand to stop the ramble while they weren’t too deep - though the kid did make a good point - but he knew Spiderman could ramble on for hours if given the chance.

“Why can’t you just take him to your place?” Stephan asked with a raised brow. At that Spidey went a tad stiff in the shoulder before purposefully relaxing. It was odd, that he didn’t know Spiderman’s identity, they had literally saved the universe together and potentially the multi-verse, although for some reason parts of Stephan’s memories from that event were a little hazy. But one thing is for sure, Spiderman knew more than he was letting on. Despite his iron clad secrecy, the kid was incredibly bad at lying. Stephan has tried to confront him, somehow the conversation always got changed. He stopped because it was fruitless. The kid may be bad at lying but goddamn does he have tight lips.

“My landlord probably wouldn’t like that and besides,” Spiderman gestured to the expanse of the sanctum at whole “You were closer and I think you can handle any…mishaps? God that word makes me sound old. “ Never mind that Stephan used that word quite frequently, especially when describing America’s training. Actually in regards to America’s training, Wong has started using it quite frequently too. Maybe she and Spidey could get along. He banished the though because Teen heroes are literally trouble magnets wherever they go, putting two together would probably set off some kind of natural disaster that would devastate half the world and people were still recovering from the snap, without even taking into regard the blip and seriously who was in charge of naming that. “Anyway, yeah you can handle any magical mishaps that may occur.”

“Fine.” The Doctor relented. Better to keep the threat secure rather than let it wonder off with one of the most notorious trouble attracting teens in the universe. He opened the door more to invite them in. Spiderman just stood their awkwardly. “Well?” Stephan raised a brow and Spidey shifted his feet slightly.

“Actually, uhm, I can’t stay. Sorry, I don’t mean to dump this on you. But you probably know how to contact Thor and stuff so maybe you could call him. I’m sorry I really have to go.” And the kid franticly pushed the demigod toward Stephan who barely had time to react as a body drunkly stumbled towards him.

“How dare you, do you know who I am?” Loki exclaimed in a slurred tone.

“What the hell kid?” Stephan exclaimed but when he turned to look back at the door, Spiderman was gone.

“Where did the spider child go? He has vanished, like a witch.” The god demanded. Stephan ignored him as he furrowed his brow in the direction of the now empty doorway. Something was really off about that boy. But he guesses if he had been in the hero game as long as Spiderman has, and are still a kid, he would have some odd quirks too. But Spiderman operated solo, and he knows that he doesn’t really work or answer to anybody. Still, with all his secrets, being that socially isolated from your peers must be stunting to some sort of mental development. Sure, he’s seen Spidey work with other heroes occasionally and more often work with other vigilantes, but no one his own age, cause seriously if that kid is older than 19 Stephan will voluntarily do maintenance for the mirror dimension for a whole year. Besides, he doesn’t think people like Deadpool are the best influences to hangout with, but the kid has a good head on his shoulders so Stephan isn’t too worried about him becoming that type of menace.

And that’s another thing: since when did he care about that kid. Sure they’ve fought together, they’ve saved countless universes together, but Stephan doesn’t even know what the kid’s name is. So why does he care about his wellbeing this much? It’s like, subconscious. Stephan doesn’t really like that thought.

He heard a sigh from behind him and turned to look at Wong, who just looked done as he took in the scene. Oh, the joys of being Sorcere Supreme. When you clean up one fuck up another shows up at your doorstep. Yeah, Strange didn’t miss that part of the job, that’s for sure.

“I’ll contact New Asgard.” He sighed and Doctor Strange took that as his opportunity to shove Loki off him.

“You insolent wench, I will-“

Stephan just walked away.

Maybe the kid could use a few friends his own age. Even if it might cause the end of the world.

Maybe, just maybe, it would be a little worth it.

[kyleeservopoulos]

Hello everyone! This isn’t your usual content from me but I’m in dire need of help:

Ok guys, mini story time/advise seeking. So on Friday last week (12/29) I matched this girl on hinge and she is quite literally the girl on my mfing dreams. I had replied to one of her prompts about her favorite band. Well on Monday (1/1) she hasn’t responded but she had her insta in her profile so I figured fuck it she’s so pretty I need her. I followed her and she followed back almost immediately but I didn’t message til about an hour later because I was in the shower. Anyways, I sent a quick message of “hey, we matched on hinge” and she never even read it so I waited til like Thursday (1/4) to try again and I tried revamping our hinge conversation by asking if I can still guess her fave band and she answer about 20 ish minutes later saying “go ahead”. Well we talked for about an hour, her sending a total of like 4 one to two word responses before she just stopped replying at 6 pm. I woke up and she read the last messages I sent at 1 am so I was maybe she fell asleep and woke up and decided to not answer and bug me so i waited til like 10am Friday and sent another message trying to joke or entice a conversation but she hasn’t read it and yesterday I sent one final message (possibly) says “alright what’s your favorite band then” to which she hasn’t read either. Now all my friends are saying drop her and stop wasting time and even my tiktok has a bunch of videos about “how to know when to drop a girl” and I know I should stop trying but deep down I feel like maybe she isn’t ignoring me and her notifications just aren’t on. Looking at all of this is making me feel crazy😂 anyways Ig what I’m asking is do I give up or should I keep trying because again literally girl on my dreams. Also why do people have dating and friend making apps if they don’t plan to participate?

Thanks in advance🫣 (yes I added all the tags to get you guys here I’m sorry 🫶)

[letterstojori]

5.8

Dear Jori,

You’re streaming again. It’s a Monday though so that’s interesting. Maybe your brother is out. You posted on your story on IG like you always do when you’re streaming. You got a haircut. It’s been about a month and a half? Since your drunk stream when you got a cut and dyed your hair. Tbh I thought you were super cute whenever your hair would cover your face a little and it was all black and you kept wearing a hat cause it was too long. But blonde you was also hot. I still remember cuddling with you and your hair was in my face and it felt like dyed hair (well duh cause it was dyed) but I mean like oh yeah I remember this feeling I had dyed hair before too.

Im trying really hard to restrain myself from clicking your twitch. I think I’ll succeed. You’re doing you now. I think what helps it not feel so hard is believing that we could still exist in the future. Because like Solon said, it’s up to me whether I want to chase after you. And if that’s in 5 years, so be it. I wonder how you’d react to that. Either you’d be flattered or maybe just kinda weirded out.

It’s teacher appreciation week. I wonder if you’ve heard. I mean idk if most people know about it unless you’re like friends with teachers or something. That’s the thing about being an older kid teacher. You don’t get as many gifts lol. But yeah was kinda mad today cause the school bought us lunch but 5th grade was the last lunch and the other teachers literally ate all of the honey walnut shrimp. I found out that some other teachers were even making plates to go before we had a chance to eat -_-

I was supposed to start Somnium Files today but ended up playing a few more runs of Wildfrost and just watching videos. Soju has stopped streaming ever since that tourney. It’s kinda funny you opened up the whole twitch world to me. I was a YouTube frog through and through. I taught you that term haha…

But yeah was supposed to start and finish somnium by Thursday so I had Friday and the rest of the weekend to play Zelda. My brother said it’s really good cause he pirates it. I wonder if you’ll play it since the only Zelda game you played was BotW but you liked it at least.

Might just sleep early.

Good luck on your Valuo games. I still remember how I told you I can’t aim and you asked me if I went to the bathroom that day. Miss you Jori. Goodnight.

-bearbear

[ot3]

hey kinda heavy ace attorney question ig but I agree with you on many things about aa and feel like you have a good understanding of Phoenix and Trucy so I really wanna ask. How do you think the creation of the bloody ace was handled? I’ve seen the idea that Trucy took matters into her own hands and made it as a failsafe without his knowledge, and that he then covered for her, but if that were the case I wonder how he knew about it and planned around it at his trial. I’ve also seen the idea that he made it himself, but gave it to her for delivery to Apollo; which maybe seems the most apparent but I really dislike it because…. It means he uses her to deliver forged evidence. In much the same way he was given the diary page, really. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve also seen some people suggest that he made it but only gave it to her for use at her discretion, which does give some agency back to her but I also question whether Phoenix would be right in placing that on her shoulders and making it her responsibility. Sorry this expanded into a ridiculously long ask but I really am curious about your take on it?

eoooh yes yes yes i love talking about phoenix and trucy lets goooooo. i actually have a scene from my (still pretty rough and probably never to be finished) wip longfic covering this scene, which ill sick below the cut, but i'll just give my generic thoughts here first.

i think phoenix asked her to do it. trucy having enough detailed knowledge of the crime scene and the events leading up to it and the actual mechanical operation of trials that would be required in order to come up with this plan just doesn't make any sense to me. phoenix is really the only one who could have theoretically concocted this particular move. but since he was presumably held in the detention center until trial, trucy is from there really the only person who could have actually done the thing.

phoenix and trucy are pretty notoriously codependent; i'm headachey and melting from the heat today so rather than doing what i normally do and trawling the wiki to find the quotes that back me up on broadstrokes statements like these so i'm just gonna pull a 'dude just trust me' moment here. the fact that she helps take care of her daddy is a point of pride for her. i don't think it strips trucy of any agency for this to be phoenix's decision because it's not like trucy spends her whole life (or even the entire game) blindly following other peoples orders. her (and phoenix's ) priority at the beginning of aa4 is each other and their own wellbeing, and the decisions they have to make in turnabout trump are indicative of that.

yes, it echoes her bringing the forged evidence to phoenix 7 years ago, but it's more of an inversion/reversal (one might even say a turnabout) than a repetition of past mistakes. in the past she was an unwilling pawn in someone else's plan where her life was collateral, now she's an active and conscious participant in the plan of someone she cares about that she's doing to protect the life she and phoenix have built for themselves. She's not being forced to do it, but i don't think there's any world where she would have said no either. she and phoenix are the most important thing in the world to each other. in their own words, if one of them falls, they both fall.

was it right of phoenix to ask this of her? was it okay for him to do this to apollo, too? obviously it's not a good thing. but it was his only option at that moment. phoenix found himself in a very difficult situation. as an attorney he promised himself to the truth, and that was the principle he lived by, but as a father what he lives by is the promise he made to trucy to never disappear on her. at that moment phoenix did what he had to do to make sure the trial ended the way he needed it to. truth had to take a backseat. his priorities have shifted.

i've also spoken before at length about how i don't think phoenix was plotting against kristoph in the longterm, at least not to the degree which popular fanon seems to agree upon. so really everything he did in turnabout trump was phoenix being backed into a corner using every tool at his disposal to try and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. was it right of him to get trucy involved? it's no worse than bringing 8 year old pearl along to crime scenes because he needed her channeling skills. phoenix cares about people deeply but he isn't capable of shielding them from all the harm the world has to offer, and he knows he isn't. half of his capability comes from his shrewdness and willingness and ability to take help when he can get it because he knows, even if its a strain in a short term, he's fighting battles that need to be won at any cost. if that makes any sense

anyway heres the little scene i wrote below the cut.

---------- APRIL 17TH, 2026 DETENTION CENTER VISITOR’S ROOM ----------

Trucy shows up on the dot as visiting hours begin. It’s funny, she thinks. The last time she did this she had a different daddy altogether. Only it really isn’t particularly funny at all, is the thing about it, and she’s going to have quite a few stern words for the man when he gets home.

She picks up the phone on one side of the pane of bulletproof glass and he grabs the other.

“Daddy,” she huffs. “You promised me you’d stay out of trouble.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Truce.” He puts on an easy smile as he says it, and he uses the same affected tone of voice she had used to start the conversation off. Affected. Cautious, in the sense that it’s levity is entirely manufactured. A performance.

It had been like that between them for real at the beginning, both of them still unsure of each other, pantomiming something resembling a sitcom and playing the real feeling filled in as it went. Thankfully, it did, but the theatrics still lend themselves better to specific conversation.

“Well, if you’re sorry, I suppose I can forgive you! But this isn’t going to look good on your employee review, y’know. I’ll have to bring it up with HR.”

“I’m sure Charley can find it in his heart to forgive me, too.”

“He’s a gentle soul.” She nods.

“You should come watch the trial on Monday, I think it’d be good for you to see.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Trucy doesn’t like the courthouse. Daddy knows that. She never comes when he goes to use the library there. She also hates, hates the idea of watching her daddy sit in the defendant’s chair not knowing if he’s ever going to come home again. He knows that too.

“Well, there are always interesting things to learn during a court trial. Plus, having you there would help me out a lot!” I need you to do something for me. She reads through the tone into his words’ real meaning. Her stomach clenches. A favor he can’t just outright ask for, not over the phone in the detention center, where every word would be recorded.

“Oh, daddy, no! I’m a magician, not a lawyer, although I understand the confusion.” She drapes a hand over her eyes in faux anguish. “I simply couldn’t, it isn’t my stage.”

“I disagree. I think it’s a perfect stage. Lawyers need cheering up too, you know! Back when I was a lawyer, I used to get really stressed out during cases like these. I bet one of your tricks would do the job.”

“Well what sort of trick do you want me to do?”

“Do you remember the first trick you ever did for me? It was the day we met, at the courthouse. You pulled a piece of paper out of your hat and gave it to me.”

“Yes,” she chirps, forcing a vibrant bubble into her voice. It feels like a pile of rocks in her gut and her pulse starts to quicken. “Of course I remember!”

“I bet if you did that trick again, it’d cheer up the whole courtroom! I bet I’d win my case in a heartbeat.”

----------

Her legs feel like jelly by the time the bus drops her off at the stop near the office. Daddy had kept on like that, loaded phrasing and a lopsided smile as he laced vapid banter with instructions. With warnings. She walks into the storage closet and grabs a deck of cards - one of his, the same style they use at the club, not hers for her tricks. Abruptly, she has a moment of panic as she realizes she’s not even sure what color she’s supposed to use, but then, just as fast, she forces her head clear and just grabs one of each.

They’re unopened. This makes it a cinch to find the card she’s looking for. Her stomach flips.

The worst part isn’t even what she’s doing. The worst part is that she’s doing it at all. Daddy knows well what this situation is making her feel and he’s asking her to do it anyway.

The only explanation left: he’s completely out of options.

She pulls her gloves off and grabs a needle from her sewing supplies. She pricks her finger, and lets a drop fall onto each ace.

----------

[yesterdayiwrote]

Honestly I couldn't care less about the relationships that the drivers are in. I 100% agree with you regarding the 'couple goals' and it's mostly a picture of them standing next to each other - the prime example being Carmen posting a picture of her and George standing next to each other on their holiday and that phrase was all over my dash. The women are obviously going to post themselves with the driver as that it what gets them attention. Kelly Piquet does it when theirs rumours she and Max have split up, and the same with Charlotte for her and Charles.

'Couple goals' always seems to be thrown around when the girlfriends are pictured at the races with their drivers, and they are dressed by a stylist to do so, and make it seem like they are supporting their boyfriend. Maybe sometimes they will sneak in and avoid the press, but I do think that there is often a genuine relationship (I don't know why, but Carmen and George's in particular does seem so) but I am skeptic. The girlfriends are a part of their boyfriends image and everything is carefully managed, but at the same time, they deserve a private relationship and some fans do not grasp that prospect. F1 seems like the type of sport where the drivers have to be seen to have a certain image and that means straight, and having a girlfriend.

I hope the drivers have someone in their lives that are genuine as the sport is brutal and seems lonely at times. We only see a snapshot of the drivers lives, so who knows.

PS. I apologies for essay, I obviously have a lot to say, and I hope it makes sense.

So, I don’t really want to comment on specific relationships because that really wasn’t the purpose of my original post, but I agree with some of what you’ve said here.

One thing I will say is, ‘WAG’ culture is in no way ‘real life’, and it’s turned into a kind of performative beast since the advent of social media. It’s a weird little bubble that has little to no real connection to anything that occurs in most people’s everyday life.

There’s no other job where you would turn up to your s/o’s place of work, dressed to the nine’s and traipse across the car park with them on a Monday morning. You probably wouldn’t do an IG post congratulating your partner on making a great sale in the office or commiserating them for missing a target. In the real world you don’t invite your loved ones in for moral support, heck, you’re probably lucky to even get an invite to the Xmas party.

The whole thing now is a bit of a performance and a side show. Why do we judge what these women wear? Why are we interested? Why do they feel they have to try and sell us something? What is the whole thing achieving, and isn’t it somewhat missing the point of what they’re actually there for? If we’re being REALLY truthful, they’re not there to contribute anything either so why are we putting them on pedestals? The whole thing becomes a weird vicious cycle where each side’s actions kind of encourage the other and it just turns into utter lunacy.

The entire circus is very ‘ingenuine’, so who knows how that impacts on the relationships at the heart of it. It’s definitely not the healthiest of environments to try and build a relationship within, I’m sure!

[gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath]

Last night while I wasn’t there this one kid let’s call him E (who I lowkey don’t like but he’s the best friend of a friend so he joins us on ft) told a different friend of mine, let’s call him R, about my crush 😐 like without me being there and without my permission even. And his excuse was “I thought he knew” I literally couldn’t care less you still told him and now more people than I wanted know. None of this would have happened if the first friend, calling him D for Dumbass, didn’t tell E. I can’t believe I even trusted D enough to be fine with him knowing like I wasn’t particularly mad but I was like okay just don’t tell anyone please and look what he did. It’s honestly my fault actually because even though I’m fairly good friends with D he’s still an asshole teenage boy like ofc he’s gonna pull shit like that. If he told E and E never brought it up it would have been fine and I wouldn’t have known either because I get it, it’s his best friend and you lowkey tell your best friend everything but also, I’m nothing in their lives rn? Like I’m at a completely different school in a completely different country why do you care about my crush. Is it something to gossip about and make fun of me for? Yeah sure ofc but that doesn’t give you the right to tell other people like wtaf. I’m so glad my crush goes to different schools because by Monday he would have known thanks to these assholes. I’m still so unbelievably pissed off though and ik very well that it’s a stupid ass thing to be mad about but it’s still an invasion of my privacy or something like that. Every single time I think these kids are okay they go and fuck shit up. And ofc I don’t really blame R for it he hasn’t really done anything ig but still. What was most annoying was how E kept going “are you still mad at me?” In his annoying ass voice and I was like what do you think dumbass I literally went off on you in the gc because of it do you think I’m gonna get over it like that? Bruh I hate his dumbass

[newhologram]

I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.

My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"

I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.

I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.

[sword-of-summer]

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

[badfauxmance]

Let’s Just Get this Over With Already...

Let’s just get these out of the way and hopefully we can move on.

Anon 1:  For some reasons, I think she's going to comment on IG's new post 🤨 // I don't know if this will happen, the bad time she did it, look at the negativity that the cell took to his instagram and lasted a week and even had cancellation . Cb can try his luck again and make things worse.

We’ll have to see what happens in the next few hours. Considering this party that apparently happened last night, it’s very possible that will be the only baiting thing happening this weekend especially on her end. If this was enough to get her attention, then it would be one thing off the proverbial checklist.

Anon 2:  Since that had a dinner party last night I’m hoping she’ll be going home in a few days. For good 🤣🤣🤣

We are literally hoping that this is true. I don’t know how long she can continue staying in the US given there’s time limits on various types of visas she could be using. She still hasn’t been cast in anything as far as well know, so she’s running out of legitimate reasons to stay in the US as time goes on.

Anon 3:  Guess now we know what all that noise was.

That’s obnoxious and rude honestly. He was being really patient ignoring it and continuing the talk last night. I’d probably be really annoyed at whoever was making the noise had it been me and I was on a conference call for work too.

Anon 4:  I wonder how much hair was in the pasta she made. Yum!

Based on some of her past pictures and IG stories, her taste in food is really questionable. I’m not just saying that because I dislike her. Seriously anyone that has recipes like she does sound like a pretentious “look at me I’m super healthy!” Insufferable. So many things she’s cooked looked burnt and really unappetizing. She’s one of those types I’d find extremely frustrated going out to eat with.

Anon 5:  Him posting a “kiss the cook” a few hours after the cook followed them and posted the bts of their party where alejandra’s “cooking” is making me feel... bitter. I feel like it might be deliberate or I’m reading too much into this 😭

Anon 6: So we get cooking videos of her and seb posts a pic of wearing an apron that says kiss the chef. Hmmmmm. Sus.

I mean it’s always possible. But that’s ultimately up to you and everyone to decide for themselves how they choose to interpret his choice. I don’t know. Considering he’s supposed to be the cook in the context of the picture (possibly a scene in the series? Him goofing on set?) I’m personally trying not to read too hard into this. Weird since I’m a gossip blogger following this nonsense, but as I and Gemini have said we’re trying to dial back and be less obsessive about all this.

Anon 7:  Ale sounds like a dying pterodactyl in that video of the ready girls 

She tries to look cute or whatever, but it doesn’t come across that way a lot of times.

Anon 8:  Is it just me or is it weird this producer is baiting lol. Also weird that she’d be at Ales birthday dinner. You think it’s be more of Ales friends. She goes to LA a lot even before Seb so she’s got to have friends there.

The producer apparently is friends with Sebastian from what other people have said. At the very least we know she worked with him on Monday. It’s odd, but it fits with the past pattern of having outsiders like Toby, Elizabeth Gilpin, Jessica Szohr and now this producer to post stuff to give it an air of authenticity. They’ve been doing this same shtick multiple times. The tiktok videos and twitter users claiming they saw them out and about on the weekends are the same thing.

It’s possible she wants to meet more of HIS connections via this party for her both as part of the baiting for the weekend, but maybe to get interest in he. I doubt this will work for either thing though I know some people are getting more convinced this is real. Do I acknowledge it’s possible this is PR turned real? Sure. Do I personally think so? Not really. It’s repeating the same thing they did before and seems to fit a new strategy we noticed them start doing since she showed up in the US. I dunno. I need more to honestly make me believe this is real. Call me stubborn if you want, but I’m a patterns kind of person.

Anon 9: I’m confused by Ashley Benson lurking on his page. She liked and commented on his post and now she liked his cool post...do they know each other? Or is she crushing? (I don’t blame her though lol)

From my poking around on IG, she follows Sebastian, but he doesn’t follow her. The only commonality is that Will Malnati follows her, but she doesn’t seem to follow Will? Personally I think she’s just a fan unless some of you guys know for a fact there’s another connection between them?

[katie-writes24]

Last Chance

Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x reader

Warnings: Language, suggestive material, brief religious content ig, angst, fluff, weddings, bad officiant script (if that makes sense), irl it’s kinda wrong but just go with it.

Part 2

I’ll just get straight to the point, Taylor Swift was the cause of this..... That’s it! You’re welcome, enjoy! Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Oh and also, can we appreciate that I finally figured out to put the ‘keep reading’ feature on because I finally set tumblr up on my computer? Yay me, this is a life changer you don’t even know!

As a kid, Y/N would be dragged to church every Sunday, told to represent her supposedly "religious" family. Her mother would force her into a dress, always reminding her to "sit like a lady" since there were always boys present, and you just never know. They would go and learn about the god above, be thankful that they were brought here, cheer his name. 

When she was fourteen, she went into church on a Monday, this time for a funeral. She automatically noticed the change in tone, obviously, but since then she looked at churches a bit different. They weren't praised as much, they held an entire different meaning, one that wasn’t very happy at all. No, she learned that churches could be just as devastating as celebratory. 

Like now, where people gathered in front of the steps, mingling and wearing expensive clothing. There was a truck on the lawn, workers were shoving different table sets across the road, where a large tent was set up. There was a group of people laughing a couple feet away, all looking down at a little girl with a white dress on. A stretch limousine rolled around and a few women climbed out with grace, all wearing the same pale color. 

Truly devastating. 

Y/N tugged at her own dress, hoping that the simple color would at least help her blend in with the crowd. Maria had told her it would be just fine, and it’s not like a new fancy dress was in her budget. 

Besides, it’s not like anyone here cares about her appearance. They’re not here for her. In fact, she hadn’t found one familiar face yet, which should be a good thing, but Y/N couldn’t help but wonder how many of these guests both parties even knew. 

“Would you ever get married?” 

He scoffed, “Marriage isn’t very meaningful is it, why should I have to document my love for you? As long as we both know it right?”

“Okay...I guess you’re right, but I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a nice tux.” She wiggled her eyebrows, but it didn’t bother him. 

“Is that all you’d want a wedding for? Because I will gladly put on a fancy tux if it meant you’d be down to-”

“Shut up! No, that’s not all. I’d like one, I’d think it’d be nice. It wouldn’t even have to be a big one.” She could see them by the beach, perhaps even getting married at the courthouse and use their money to blow on a big dinner after. She wouldn’t even mind a service in their apartment, it’s roomy. 

“Well, not like I have anyone for a big wedding anyways…”

She sat down next to him and stroked her fingers through his hair. “We’d invite our friends. I could invite my mom, you know she loves you. We don’t need a bunch of people to have a wedding.”

“Good, because I don’t want a giant guest list where there are different number tables and- a full service and a grand ceremony. I just...I just want you.”

She wonders how much of this is total bullshit. 

From where she’s standing, Y/N doesn’t think anyone would approach her. The lake is quite breathtaking, but the crowd is full of anxiousness and people are patiently waiting for the ceremony to start by the front of the church. 

Some people pass her by, and she picks up on certain terms, like how “beautiful the church is” or “she picked out the perfect dress, Philip was crying it was so pretty” and her favorite “just wait till you see this guy, they are just perfect for each other.”

Perfect. 

“I told you I can’t dance.”

“And I was a fool to not believe you. My feet are killing me,” He smirked and then laughed as she hit his shoulder. 

“Fuck off! Why are we doing this again?” She looked up at the sky that cracked before her, grey clouds mushing together.

“Because dancing in the rain is on my bucket list,” He twirled her around, pulling her close when she fumbled out of the turn. 

“Okay, what does that have to do with me? You’re telling me all your years before we met you couldn’t have gone outside and danced?” She grimaced as she felt drops of water against her skin. 

“Maybe I was waiting for the perfect person to do it with?” A hand wrapped around her waist and she chuckled. 

“Perfect? I am far from perfect,” They met each other’s stare and she got butterflies just seeing that look in his eye. 

“Well, then this is perfect,” The rain started to beat against the cement below them. “You and me, here right now, together. It’s perfect.”

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t hear anybody approach until they called her name. Y/N turned her head a little too fast, scared that she would be caught, there would be a giant scene, and then she would lose her chance at-

At what exactly? She didn’t know either.

“That’s really you, isn’t it?”

Hercules always was so welcoming, she never felt out of place when she was around him. In fact, he actually had a small smile on now, dressed nicely in his, most likely own, tailored suit. 

“Hey, Herc,” Y/N gripped her own arm, unsure if it was appropriate to go in for a hug. “You look nice.”

“Thank you, I made it myself.” He chuckled and opened his arms, allowing her to view his form. He looked just the same as she had seen him almost two years ago. 

“It’s definitely you! Did that business of yours ever hit it off with the investors?” Maybe she was aiming for small talk in hope of a distraction, she wasn’t ready for the obvious to be out in the open just yet. 

“No, but I’m working with something better. Got a lot of new line ups, good people to work with…” Hercules  trailed off with a fond smile on his face. 

“I’m really happy for you, Herc. You deserve it!” 

He smiled, “What about you? What have you been up to?”

Y/N winced and tried not to fidget. “Still working for the same place, I actually got a promotion a couple months ago, so I’ve been busy with that...But everything else has been...things are going well.” 

Hercules nodded, and just like a wave, tension flooded the air around them. 

Y/N refused to look up and meet his eyes, to either see full curiosity, disappointment or any other mood that would just make her feel sick to her stomach, will have her asking the same question over and over to herself. However, the silence couldn’t stay too long. 

“Y/N, what...why are you here?” 

An older woman was yelling at a worker, wanting more champagne for the bride's suite. She was aggressive, and yet the guests around her weren’t baffled at her behavior in the slightest. Y/N hated entitlement, hated more when the rich forgot that other people aren’t as fortunate enough as them. 

Y/N also hated that Hercules was still staring at her while she was wondering if her own mother would be so stressed as to the point of lashing out at others. 

“How long have they been engaged?” She finds herself asking only to quiet her thoughts of if they were stuck in one place and never seemed to want more. 

“Eight months,” Hercules sighed, never being one to push and always being honest. “Eliza’s sweet, she has a good heart. She’s loyal-”

Ouch.

“And she makes him happy.”

“Do you think we were ever… not happy?” Her eyes finally met his, instantly going soft and trying to word his answer carefully, even though Y/N could see a straight answer on his face. 

“I think...you guys worked around each other well. I think you enjoyed each other’s company, and maybe you might have been in love once, but that’s in the past. Right now, over a hundred people are going to celebrate what’s best for him and Eliza…”

He’s not marrying you, he’s not with you. 

It was something unspoken, but Y/N knew that was what Hercules was trying to get at, letting her know that her presence was unwelcome and that this was for the best. 

Why was she here? Why did she think that today would be the day to confess her feelings that never drifted away? Why was she so selfish, and think that her happiness was more important than-

Someone approaches them rather quickly, and it makes her turn and brace for an attack. 

Instead, it’s just John. 

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here, you weren’t invited!” He was loud and he was causing a scene, something Y/N definitely did not want. He actually looked like he was about to jump her, but before he could move any closer Hercules puts his arm on John’s chest to block him. 

“Relax, John,” Hercules looked back at her with a pointed look. “Y/N was just leaving.”

There was a pause, and she almost believed that yes, she was leaving. This was her cue, no one wanted her here, she wasn’t supposed to be here. Who is she to ruin a wedding? How could she do something so terrible?

“You should move in,” He ran his hand over her back, listening to her slow breaths. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’d be nice, having you here all the time?” He knew she was drifting off and probably wasn’t even registering what he was saying. He was proven wrong when she raised her head to look at him in the dark light. 

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt seeing you all day,” Y/N smirked as he nudged her with his leg. She kissed his chest and smiled down at him. “If I move in, there’s no turning back. Rent is too high for me to be switching back and forth.”

“I couldn’t think of anywhere else I'd want you to be.”

Y/N gave him a curt nod, walking backwards a bit before fully turning around. She walked all the way pass the church, passed the parking lot, all the way down to the end of the lake. She was out of sight. 

But there was no way she was leaving. There was no way she was going to give up her last chance. 

Even from where she stood, she could hear the beats of the traditional wedding music pick up, cheers from the crowd pick up as everyone hustled inside. 

Her feet moved before she could even make a decision. 

There was an elderly couple just walking into the room, and luckily the man held the door open for her. She thanked him and took the grand venue in. On each bench there was a bouquet of flowers, a white row leading up to the altar. It was packed, and Y/N could only imagine how many people she was about to shock. 

She sat in an empty aisle seat in the back, and finally realized that Eliza was just reaching the top of the stairs, kissing her fathers cheek before he gave her over to him. 

“Should I get a haircut?”

“No. I like it the way it is. You have nice hair, it’s soft and always so full. Why would you want to chop it off?” She caressed said hair. 

“Eh, it’s too long. I think it’s a hassle to work with when I’m getting ready for work. I don’t know…” He looked in the mirror with a pained face. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, leaning her cheek on his back. 

“Well, personally, I like it. But it is your hair. You know I’d love you either way.”

“Are you just being biased?” 

“Mmh, well, I can’t say I don’t like having something to pull on.” She tugged and he whimpered before turning and kissing her, a full grin on his face. 

He looked just like Y/N imagined him. In fact he hasn’t changed, except maybe the circles under his eyes got a bit darker. His hair was neatly wrapped in a ponytail behind his head, sharp tux on, a smile on his face.

Except none of that was for Y/N, it was for another woman. 

Swallowing back the lump in her throat she cleared her throat, tapping her foot nervously as the officiant started speaking. 

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of Alexander and Elizabeth.”

“Stop being such a poor sport.”

“You so cheated! You know what, it’s fine. Because I know what really happened.”

“I’ll tell you what happened: Mr. Hamilton sucks at Mario Kart!”

“You take that back!”

“Through their time together, they have realized that their goals and dreams are more meaningful through a combined effort and mutual support provided in love.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You got promoted, Alex! You’ve come so far since we met. You work so hard, you stay late at work, you stress yourself out far too much for my liking. But you got exactly where you wanted to be! And from here you can only go up! I’m proud of you!”

He smiled, kissing her knuckles and thanking her. 

“As we create this marriage, we create a new bond and a new sense of family.”

“I hope our kids have your eyes.”

“If we’re thinking about children, I have no problem shoving them right back if they don’t look exactly like you.”

“Alex, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just saying. Your eyes, your nose, I even want them to be as witty as you.”

“I hope they don’t have your sense of style.”

“Hey!”

“Now, before we begin the vows, if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony-”

“You’re acting crazy!”

“No, I’m acting reasonable! You can’t seriously think that you were just going to let this go?”

“Where are we going, Y/N? We’re stuck in this one spot, and I can’t do it anymore!”

“Then don’t!”

“Let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you…” She wiped the tears from her eyes as he held her closely to his chest. “And I’m terrified.”

Y/N stands without letting herself have any more doubts. 

Almost immediately, attention is drawn. There are gasps in the crowd, one woman even let out a horrid yell. The man sitting a couple feet away even scoffs, like Y/N’s idea was ridiculous. It’s enough commotion that causes the bride and groom to look her way. 

Warmth filled her as his brown eyes connected with hers. 

It went in flashes, Alexander’s emotions. First he was a bit confused, almost as to why their loved ones were making such noise. Then, it was anger, finally realizing that it was because someone was objecting to his wedding. And as their eyes connected, it was like he was sad. 

Maybe it was because he hasn’t seen her since she walked out. Maybe it was because she was ruining his special day. Maybe it was because he knew she lost her chance years ago, and that even he knew it was too late. 

Maybe it was because he knew the outcome of this. 

Y/N took a shuddering breath, before saying the three words that could easily crush the hearts of everyone in this room. But she ignored the appalled crowd, she ignored the angry face of John right next to Alex, she didn’t even want to see how broken Eliza must look right now. 

Instead, she focused on the very small quirk of Alexander’s lips, the small chance of hope that was promised. 

[gra-sonas]

Happy Malex Monday!!! ❤️️ This Monday I'm wishing and hoping that Vlamis and Tyler will participate in a Malex Monday eventually. By giving us videos, photos or even mentions by re posting fans Malex Monday work. That is my wish and I'm putting into the universe for them to participate like Ronen and Rafa participate on Tarlos Tuesday. It probably will never happen, but I have to try.

Happy Malex Monday, nonnie. ❤️

I'd love that. Vlam likes Malex Monday tweets, but hasn’t RTed any, and I don’t recall either reposting anything on IG (not sure people post Malex Monday stuff there tho).

Let’s hope once Malex are together they'll participate and maybe even share new stuff eventually 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

🎆 VietTai?

 :) a very good ship, anon.

Emoji asks!

🎆 - what is their favourite holiday?

mmmm gonna have to go with the Lunar New Year and its related festivities: Spring Festival in Taiwan and Tet in Vietnam. Disregarding western holidays because nah. They might use it as an excuse to dress up (Halloween) or go shopping (Christmas) but it’s a more lukewarm response than what they’d do for their “own” holidays.

Edit: honorary “western” (not really) holiday is New Years Eve! They watch the fireworks together and then go back home to settle in and make wishes for the new year :) perhaps snag a new years kiss when the clock strikes midnight :)) sweet things only

I feel like those two are basically on polar opposite ends of what sorts of holidays they like to celebrate, but the new year is like their common ground? Taiwan likes a lot of hhh superficial holidays I guess. There are a lot of “holidays” and really big sales days in Taiwan and China that are for shopping and shopping only and I think she’d be much more interested in those than an older tradition. (Double 11 day, also known as Veterans Day in the US, is coming up; I’m pretty sure it was “created” pretty recently and it’s just devolved into a shopping bonanza like Cyber Monday). Tangent over, my point is that she’s more about the celebratory, fun part of holidays instead of the tradition honoring part, and she enjoys a lot of new holidays better just because there’s not as much tradition and custom rooted in them and they’re more of an excuse to have fun and be joyful.

Vietnam however: I think she likes tradition. She definitely likes and celebrates new stuff too but the old ways are a lot more real to her? And hmmm I think she loves her people like. a lot. A lot a lot. so she takes Tet as an opportunity to spend more time with them, to laugh with them and be among them for a little while longer. So yeah, she likes holidays that are more people/community oriented than ones that are just for fun ig. There’s just more meaning to them, and more richness in the celebration.

I don’t know where I was going with this but the point is they both like the Lunar New Years enough that it’s their collective favorite holiday. In a Human AU I might feel comfortable enough saying China gets all his “associates” (HK, TWN, JPN, SK, etc.) together for a family dinner but. in the current political climate. that isn’t happening in nationverse. So instead they blend Vietnamese and Taiwanese traditions together and just spend some time with their citizens in either Taiwan or Vietnam. Giving red envelopes to neighborhood kids, cooking together (the culinary palate isn’t that different because they’re both sorta southern places but there’s still a healthy mix of dishes on the table) and the festivities! The parades, noise, fireworks, calligraphy in both traditional Chinese and Vietnamese, fun things! Taiwan thoroughly decorates the house they’re staying in for the New Year, whether it’s hers in Taiwan or Vietnam’s. I think they might set up an altar to “ancestors” as well, although as nations they don’t really /have/ ancestors but. They offer it to the citizens they’ve lost and the ones they were particularly fond of. I think they both believe at least a little in things that aren’t from the human world— they’re nations, strange things happen, and it’s hard to believe that the people that are gone are only turned to dust and nothing more (maybe they are still among us). Besides that it’s mostly just them spending quality time with each other-- and then if they’re celebrating in Taiwan, they’ll probably go sightseeing/traveling around after the initial few days of celebration, once businesses reopen. Perhaps Vietnam goes into stores with Taiwan just because and they spend the whole day shopping and trying out cute and/or really wacky outfits :)

Tl;dr yes Lunar New Year is their favorite holiday and it’s a time for them to get together as a couple and be sweet together.

Also lowkey: if anyone has any different hc please do tell! Would love to hear different opinions and I’m not sure if the stuff about tet is accurate enough or if there’s anything I’m missing.

[duggardata]

Apparently, Jinger Suffered A Miscarriage in November

Everything Duggar Data Knows About It, So Far.

ICYMI—Jinger is pregnant, due in November 2020!  She announced via People yesterday.  Sad news came alongside happy, though...  People also shared that Jinger experienced a miscarriage prior to her current pregnancy.

Pregnancy loss now factors into the Predictor, so Duggar Data is trying to figure out as much information as possible about when the miscarriage occurred, and at how far along.  This Post summarizes what I’ve been able to piece together.

Since some may not want to read on...  After the jump.

Fair Warning—This Post is absurdly long.  There’s a TL;DR at the end, if you’re in a hurry!

When Did Jinger Miscarry?

Per Jinger and Jeremy, it happened in November 2019.  (Initially, People simply said it happened “last fall,” which ostensibly includes September to November.  Then, the Vuolos posted on Instagram about the loss, revealing it had occurred in November, specifically.)  Jinger further shared that it happened on a Tuesday; she said she and Jeremy shared the news with family on “Monday evening,” but miscarried “the next morning.”  [Jeremy’s IG Post, Jinger’s IG Post.  Permalinks provided in the text above.]

So, a Tuesday in November 2019...  We’ve already narrowed it down a lot.  The possibilities include only these dates—

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Since yesterday, we’ve also been provided two additional data sources, both of which provide further insight into the timing of the miscarriage—

The Counting On Trailer.  TLC announced the new season alongside Jinger + Jeremy’s pregnancy announcement, and dropped the first trailer.  At 0:30–0:46, the trailer features Jinger + Jeremy announcing a pregnancy to Jinger’s family...  The Duggars are gathered at the Big House for “their family fun night,” which is held weekly on Mondays.  The night’s activity was gingerbread house–building.  Skyping in from California, Jinger + Jeremy build a gingerbread version of their family, complete a clearly–pregnant ginger Jinger.

Some have assumed that the ‘Jingerbread’ Announcement was for the Vuolos’ current pregnancy, but it’s clear to me that it wasn’t.  The timing doesn’t make sense.  Jinger is due with Vuolo #2* in November 2020, and she wouldn’t have learned she was pregnant until ~March 2020.  Given gingerbread’s association with fall and the holidays, Duggar Data really doubts that the Duggars decided to do a gingerbread–themed family night in March or April.  Additionally, social distancing due to COVID–19 was well underway by March / April 2020, yet the clip shows a large gathering of not–same–household Duggars.  Notably, Jessa + Ben appear in the clip, and they’ve stated that they’re staying away from the Big House during this time.  Taken together, all of this all suggests that the clip wasn’t recorded in March or April 2020—and thus, can’t be an announcement of Jinger’s current pregnancy.  This must be Jinger + Jeremy announcing their pregnancy that ended in miscarriage in November.

Immediately, I hoped that I could figure out the timing based on which Duggar Ladies were visibly pregnant or which Duggar Babies appeared.  Babygeddon was in full force, after all!  Sadly, this didn’t narrow things down much...  Joe + Kendra were present with Addison (b. 11–2–19), but that doesn’t rule anything out; the earliest Monday in November 2019 was November 4th.  (I’d admit it’s slightly unlikely that Kendra made it to Family Night two day after giving birth, but I don’t think it’s impossible...  They live on the Compound.)  Neither Anna nor Lauren, nor Maryella or Bella, is seen.  Josiah appears, but it that doesn’t tell us much, since Lauren wasn’t in labor on a Monday.  (Bella was born on a Friday after ~2 Days of labor.)

Undeterred, I scoured Duggar Instagrams to see if I could figure out what they did and who attended each Family Night in November 2019.  I also looked for any photos in which a Duggar is wearing the same outfit that’s seen in the clip of the ‘Jingerbread’ Announcement...

Based on this sleuthing, I think we can rule out November 4, 2019.  Per Anna, that Family Night was spent stuffing gift boxes for Operation Christmas Child.  Her Post shows dozens of bright red boxes all over the Big House.  No boxes are seen in the ‘Jingerbread’ Announcement clip, but they probably would’ve been if they were there.  (The gingerbread house building activity appeared to take up the entire living room.)  Plus, I think it’s unlikely that they’d do two big activities in one night.

I wasn’t able to figure out the activities at the other Family Nights that month.

I checked Instagram to see if any Duggar visible in the clip was, e.g., out–of–town, and thus wouldn’t have been present at a particular Family Night.  This search didn’t produce any evidence sufficient to rule anything out.

As for the outfit search, it also didn’t produce many leads...  Only one.  Jessa posted a photo on Instagram on Monday, November 25, 2019, in which she’s possibly wearing the same long–sleeve emerald shirt that she’s seen in in the clip.  So, that points slightly towards November 25, 2019 as the date Jinger + Jeremy announced, and November 26, 2019 as the Date of Loss.

The Vuolos’ Instagram Live.  On May 28, 2020 at 4:00 PM, Jinger + Jeremy did an Instagram Live discussing the pregnancy and earlier miscarriage.  The Live gave us various information, but one fact is of particular relevance, here:  Per the Vuolos, Jeremy’s Sister (Valerie) visited them very shortly after Jinger miscarried.  Apparently, her trip was pre–planned, and it just worked out that she was there during a time when they happened to really need help.

Turns out, Valerie Vuolo has a public Instagram—and lucky for us, she posted about the trip in question.  On November 30, 2019, she put up three Posts w/ photos of her, Felicity, and Jeremy, each one tagged Los Angeles, California.  Even more telling, the first Post included #Thanksgiving, which pretty much confirms that Valerie was visiting for the holiday, which was November 28th in 2019.  Bolstering this further, Valerie actually posted the photos on November 30th, and Jinger commented:  “We miss you already!”  So...  Clearly, Valerie is no longer in Los Angeles, at that point.

Based on all of this, I’ve got a very strong suspicion that Jinger miscarried Tuesday, November 26, 2019—i.e., the Tuesday before Thanksgiving—which means she announced the pregnancy to the Duggars on November 25, 2019.  This is mostly based on the apparent timing of Valerie’s trip, but also happens to line up with Jessa’s November 25 IG Post, in which she’s possibly wearing the same shirt she wore for the ‘Jingerbread’ Announcement.  Also, Tuesday, November 26, 2019 happens to be a day where neither Vuolo posted on IG...  Could be a coincidence, though; they didn’t post on Tuesday, November 12th, either.

Duggar Data plans to use November 26, 2019 as Jinger’s Loss Date, for now.  It’s considered “Not Confirmed.”  I think we can rule out November 4th as the announcement date—so if the Loss Date isn’t the 26th, it must be the 12th or 19th.

Was This Her First Miscarriage?

During the Instagram Live on May 28, 2020, Jinger + Jeremy said “thank you” to their followers for all the support they’d received after announcing Jinger’s miscarriage.  Then, they said something about how miscarriage is something that many couples go through, and Jeremy said:  “We’ve now gone through that.”  Duggar Data took this to mean that Jinger’s recent miscarriage wasn’t something they’d gone through before, which obviously means that this must have been Jinger’s first—and, so far, only—miscarriage.

IMO, it is reasonable to conclude that this was Jinger’s first miscarriage.

How Far Along Was She, At The Time?

So far, there’s no definitive data on this; however, it’s clear that it was early on.  On Instagram Live, the Vuolos—Jinger, IIRC—referred to the baby they lost as one “that the Lord blessed us with for such a short time.”  Additionally, there isn’t any reason to assume that Jinger + Jeremy waited until, e.g., the Second Trimester to announce to her family.  (And we know the loss happened the day after she announced to them.)  With Pregnancy #1, Jinger + Jer announced to their families in November 2017, when Jinger was <6 Weeks Along.  (Felicity’s Due Date was July 20, 2018.)  [Shout–out to @undercoverduggarblog, as well as @pickledchickenetti, for your valiant efforts in piecing together the real–life timeline of Counting On.)

Absent contrary evidence, Duggar Data will assume a miscarriage occurred at Exactly 6 Weeks.  Statistically, 90% of miscarriages occur by Week 6, and the lack of concrete loss dates for several miscarriages forced me to create a rule to ensure uniformity in considering pregnancy loss data.

Impact On The Data

I’ll discuss this in an upcoming Post!  Stay tuned.

TL;DR—

Loss Date   A Tuesday in November 2019...  Probably November 26th.  Duggar Data’s spreadsheet says November 26, 2019, but doesn’t label that as “Confirmed.”  That’s what I’m using, for now.

Due Date   Unknown.  Consistent with a uniform rule, Duggar Data will assume the loss occurred at Week 6, Day 0...  The Estimated Due Date associated with November 26, 2019 is July 21, 2020.  That’s what I will use, for now.

1st Loss?  Seems like it was, yes.